when was the last time you did something for the first time?

(something i started writing while sitting on the floor of changi airport, near gate e2, while waiting for my flight back to manila)



the singapore trip was my big adventure. i've always wanted to try living and working in a different country and so when my good friend caps offered to practically sponsor my trip - offering a space in their flat and even the food in their pantry, not to mention wifi - i booked a flight.

not that it was so easy to leave. i had to psyche myself a lot about the thought of being away from mike and sloan. but i wanted to be able to do this and in the future not regret passing up the chance, which may then cause me to be resentful. i have seen this in some people i love and i didn't want to end up the same way. so i went for it and prayed that i could get settled quickly and hopefully have mike and sloan move here soon as well.

i was invited to a number of interviews and was asked to do writing tests. however, nothing came into fruition (so far, at least). qualified as i was, it was a challenge working against the quota that singapore had set on foreign workers to ensure a balance of employment for their locals.

admittedly, it was quite disheartening at first. i had already resigned from my job and so i felt a little panicky at the thought that i won't have work when i get back to manila. but i quickly realized that it was a decision i did not regret, because the time really felt right for me to leave. so instead, i started thinking about what i can do and pursue.

i thought, i could go back to radio; make a career as a blogger; start a business; pursue writing; be a producer... and so on and so forth. that's when it hit me that having nothing at the moment was actually quite liberating, because it offered me a fresh canvass as to what i can do with my career. i now have the chance to pursue the things i've always wanted to pursue. i love abs-cbn but after 12 years with the company, i just felt i needed a change.

when i resigned, some asked why i was giving up a stable job and a good position in a well-known company. but staying would mean i would only be doing it for money, and that's not really a good thing. i needed a fresh perspective, a different learning ground, and a new company of people. mike and i have always had things we wanted to explore, and it seems now is the time to  put them into action. i could also try exploring opportunities abroad again if my heart tells me it's time to give it another shot.

of course i'm worried about putting food on the table and all that. thankfully, i have mike who's a very supportive partner - not only does he take care of things, he also works with me in planning our next steps.

i will definitely miss singapore which was my home for a while - where i made happy new memories; and where i not only made new friends, but also reconnected with people who will always be dear to me. but it was also special reuniting with my boys in manila and getting to hug and kiss them! amid the transitional period in my life, it's absolutely comforting to know that i have them to come home to, no matter happens.

i'd like to be able to share this story with sloan in the future - how i had the courage to try something i've always wanted to try. and it's something that i hope he will take to heart - that he should go for his dreams fearlessly, as how we really all should. and whatever happens, he will always have me and his dad to come home to.