on rejection

A famous quote about rejection of the career type is one by writer Sylvia Plath who said, "I love my rejection slips. They show me I try."

I will not pretend to know all about Ms. Plath nor her work, but I have to say this one quote really hit home. Especially with what I went through last year, which I jokingly refer to as The Year of “Thank Yous” - as in “thank you” letters from companies to which I applied and was not hired. How ironic that, in this case, "thank you" actually means rejection huh?

I went through a lot of job applications last year, both in Singapore and in Manila. When I came back from abroad, I was pretty positive I can get a good job in no time because I had the required combination of a great background in an excellent company, plus a fantastic skillset. But my confidence easily waned, because as days passed, my phone would ring less and less. The ones that wanted to hire me were either not willing to offer a suitable pay or were ones which I wasn’t really all that keen about.

And so my confidence turned into panic. What if I don’t find a job? How am I going to help out with the expenses? What will I do with my life?


It was this panic that pushed me to attend an interview for a job at the Office of the Cabinet Secretary. I wasn’t particularly interested in working for this government agency, but Michael’s friend, in good faith, forwarded my resume to her friend who works there. I had no idea about what the function of the office was nor what the position actually was, but I thought, they saw my resume, they know my background, and they would not have invited me if they didn’t think I possessed skills that could be useful to them.

I googled the two ladies who were going to conduct the interview and was flabbergasted to know how important they were in the government. One was an undersecretary, the other an assistant secretary. Insecurity immediately crept up inside me, but I again reminded myself that I wouldn’t have been invited to come if they didn’t think I could possibly be what they needed.

On the day of the interview, I wore a nice dress and my highest heels, and came early. I was instructed to sit with fellow interviewees in a long table, and from their chats, I gathered that this was the final interview for all of them, and that every single one of them came from a political office – Senate, Congress, partylist, etc.

“What am I doing here?” The only person in the group who came from the entertainment/media industry asked herself.  “What am I doing here? What am I doing here?”

I repeated the question over and over. I wanted to leave but pride pushed me to stick it out and curiosity encouraged me to find out if maybe, I was actually a good fit for the position.

So I stayed.

While I was being ushered into the interview room, I was told that I was the only one who didn’t go through the first round of interviews but that “it’s okay because your background seems like a good fit anyway.”

Wrong.

Throughout the interview, I was squirming uncomfortably in my seat because the experiences they were looking for weren't exactly ones reflected in my resume. Of course I tried my best to align my experiences with their requirements, but it was hard to win. I felt like they weren't really considering my potential, what I can possibly offer.

One of the ladies would smile kindly, but the other one wasn't quite as nice - which made me even more uneasy. Looking back now, I wish I just ended the awkward interview myself early on and saved all three of us the time and effort.

When the questions started going around in circles, I decided I'd make a declaration. I reiterated what my strengths were, and reassured them that, despite lacking the specific experiences they were looking for, I can work really hard and learn really fast. Very beauty pageant-ish I know, but I honestly meant every word.

Man, I’ve never worked this hard before to get a job that I didn’t even really want.

We shook hands and smiled after, but I knew I wasn’t going to get a callback. I was so disappointed with how everything turned out.  My tears were threatening to fall and the damn elevator was taking so long so I just took the stairs even if my heels were already killing me by then.

For days, I felt bad. But then something interesting happened: I started to get callbacks again, and this time, from applications I was actually interested in pursuing. I finally accepted a job that would not only put my skills to good use, but also paid quite well.

Months later, on my birthday no less, I received an email.

What a coincidence to receive this exactly on my birthday!  Funny right? By then I had already gotten over the whole experience that I just laughed when I opened the attachment and saw the very words I was expecting. “We wish to thank you... We regret to inform you...”

Ako na. Ako na ang may rejection letter mula sa Office of the President! Hey, not a lot of people can say that lol.

What did I learn from this experience? To only pursue the things that I am actually interested in. It can be a waste of time to go after those which I am not really that psyched about, not to mention it can cause an unnecessary heartache.

But. In case I get stubborn again in the future, I promise to at least wear comfortable shoes in case I find that I can’t wait for the elevator and would rather take the stairs.