intend more, regret less



It was because of Coldplay, or the fact that I didn't get to watch their concert, that I came to the realization that I have simply been going through the motions for a while now.

When I learned that the band was coming to Asia for a series of shows, I paid no attention and did not felt so moved as to try and get a ticket for the Manila show or elsewhere. Then, the night before the concert, my friend Dai texted to ask if I was interested in 2 VIP tickets at 20K a piece. She was selling them because she had decided to watch Coldplay in Taiwan instead. It was tempting, but while I had the money, I just couldn't get myself to shell out 40K on a whim.

The morning after the concert, I started seeing the videos people took and also read stories about how awesome the show was. I began to wonder why I didn't make any effort to watch the concert. Regret seeped in, and I wanted to kick myself for missing it. It wasn't that I didn't take the VIP tickets, but I could've maybe strategized on how I can get to watch from the time I first learned they were coming.

Yes, "strategized" is the word. Being a parent, having a full time job, running a household, and trying to get some decent sleep amid all these can get so overwhelming, that something as simple as buying concert tickets requires much tactical planning, from assessing the budget to purchase tickets with, to finding the best time to actually watch without gravely affecting aforementioned responsibilities. Sure, from time to time we can be spontaneous, but not 40K spontaneous lol (not yet at least, haha!) and not when I have a big meeting the following day.

Of course I understand that every now and then, there are some things I would have to miss out on, and I have to get used to that. But there are also things I would rather not miss, especially if I could find a way to get it or make it happen. The thing is, it all begins with me knowing what I want.

And so, from here on out, I intend to intend.

To know what I want and set out to go after it, even if it will not always be easy. To live with eyes wide open instead of just drifting from one moment to another. To not get caught up with the responsibilities I have and realize that I matter too, because I can only take on all the things I need if I have the spirit to do so.